Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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