Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
then he tried to convert me to islam
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
