Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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