So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
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