I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
And then he peed in my hair
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
