Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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