marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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