Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
