I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
