Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Randomize
