Sry I called you an 8
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
