he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Randomize