I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
