Having a random hookup so left but love u
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Randomize
