omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
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