Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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