Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
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