I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Randomize
