just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Randomize