I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
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