Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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