No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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