Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
