im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Randomize
