my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
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