oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Randomize
