dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
