You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize