Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Randomize
