I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Randomize