is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
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