I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
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