we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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