I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
We are all done wearing pants today
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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