I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
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