He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
