so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Randomize
