dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
