i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
