Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
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