dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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