i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
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