Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
