I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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