My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
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