Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Randomize
