on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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