what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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