hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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