i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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