Just mADE A PArabola og urine
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
