Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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