At least make sure they are 18
Why
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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