Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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