literally had 100 drinks last night.
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
