If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
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