I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
