Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
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