sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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