I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
