Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Randomize
