trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Randomize
