You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
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