It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
